Signs

So, it's really crazy how you seem to send me signs that you are okay. Today me, Daddy, and Aidan decided to go to Ma Ma and Pa Pa's house to BBQ. We needed a few extra supplies, so I volunteered to go to Dollar General. I was walking by the section where they have the baby stuff and a couple was in there with a baby carrier. I looked in the carrier and there was a little boy that looked to be only 2-3 weeks old, the same age you would be now. I smiled, but my heart was breaking inside. No sooner than that happened, through the overhead speakers where they play music, the song "In the Arms of an Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin came on. It was almost like you were saying you were okay and not to be sad. It still pains me sometimes seeing other babies, but I don't wont to lose that sense of wonder and enjoyment that people have towards them.

Me and your Daddy have been talking a lot lately. I think we're going to try again, but it'll be a while. We want to heal emotionally and give ourselves time to grieve for you. Plus, even though I probably will be no longer how long we wait, I don't want to be a nervous wreck the entire pregnancy. But most of all, I don't want it to feel as if we have to rush to replace you, because you are irreplacable. You will always be our first daughter, our beautiful Reagan. I can have a million more babies and you would never be replaced in my heart. I love you my sweet Angel!