Well, July 2nd was my due date so we decided to make it a special day. I went and got my tattoo, using a picture of Reagan as my focus point if it started hurting. Then we went to pick up our son, Aidan, and go to the grave site to decorate it with some butterflies. I don't know why, but every time I see butterflies now, it makes me think of her. It was so sweet, though, because the wind started blowing and moving the butterflies and Aidan asked if Reagan was chasing butterflies. It was hard leaving the cemetary, leaving her to be alone. I know the body is just a vessel and her soul is in heaven, but I hate the fact that she is alone every night and I'm not with her.

I am missing her so much. I keep thinking it is not fair, that I should be up half the night changing diapers and feeding her. I drives me nuts when I hear people complaining about going through this. I would give up everything I have to be going through that right now. Going through the goods and the bads of raising her, only to be able to watch her grow into the beautiful woman I know she would have been. It's hard to think about everything I'm never going to experience with her; her first words, her first steps, her first heartbreak, watching her walk down the aisle to the man of her dreams. I can only hope that there is a Heaven above and that she is experiencing eternal bliss in the hands of God. But I still feel it is not fair that I didn't have the chance to experience all of those things with her. To my beautiful Reagan, I love you with all of my heart and you will never be forgotten.